Holidays, finally...

I was very excited and happy at the end of last week - I had planned a week off from work, for Christmas. The plan was not to do anything special, just stay at home with the kids and the in-laws (while wife was working that week) and celebrate Christmas. The happiness was due to something else - it was my first week off after the end of July, so after more than 4 months and a half.

I have done several things during these 4 months and a half, but none of them could count as actual days off. My parents were here for two weeks, my wife's aunt for another two, in both cases covering school holidays. One weekend we went to a wedding (without the kids), I went for another in London to see a friend, I drove (2100 km) a car to Romania during another weekend, I stayed at home with a sick child one or two days... But not actual days off work in which I could relax and do nothing.

And I have been quite active at work during these months too, as I had taken over a new team: new people to know, new things to learn, new boss and colleagues to adapt to... and a lot of things being expected from me. No problems there, just one more reason to really be excited about a week off. And, by the way, this is also the reason why I don't post often...

Anyway, I was really happy about this week. And then Monday 23rd came, first day at home with the two kids and the in-laws. The mother-in-law is (very) ill. The father-in-law divides his time between taking care of her, cooking (and Romanians do not joke about Christmas cooking) and trying to play with his grandsons. The problem is that they don't really want to play with him and there's also a language barrier. So they were constantly 'daddy this, daddy that'. To top it off, it has rained heavily most of the time, which has limited my possible activities.

In the evenings, when my wife was back from work and when she was not working (e.g., Christmas day), it felt like a normal evening or weekend. In the rest of the time, it felt like a very stressful week. So screw holidays, I'm so happy tomorrow morning I'm going back to work!

Movember (2)

I know I'm almost one month late, but I had promised this...

Growing a Mo

A moustache, that it. Well, it's a lot harder than it may seem, and not physically. My facial hair has an average grow rate and if I dedice to grow a moustache, in a few days it's there. But can I decide to do so? It's a quite tough decision, let me assure you.

First things first, why a moustache? Well, it's November. Or, better said, it's Movember. And if you don't know what it is, shame on you. Just search for the term and you'll understand. A 'raise awareness about prostate cancer' movement that basically involves men letting their moustaches grow during the month of November. As my grandfather died of that, I thought to myself... why not?

And yet, a decision like this is not made easily. There were a lot of second thoughts popping in my brain, from 'what will people at work think' to 'movember is not really known around here, I will grow sick of explaining it'. As I don't really bother about what others think, I put those thoughts aside and let it grow...

... after 4 days, I shaved it off. I looked in the mirror and thought I was looking just stupid. No problem with peer pressure, noone had made any comments and one guy at work even started to let his moustache grow too! No problem with the wife either, she didn't think me hideous. I simply didn't like my face with a moustache on it.

A few days later, there it is again. And this time it will stay! It is supposed to look stupid (on me, at least). It is supposed to attract attention and to raise questions. And I really want to prove (to myself) that I can go with it until the end. Cause it really is a tough job to (convince yourself to) grow a moustache!

Don't worry, at the end of the month, I will post a picture of it...

One and two halves.. men

Considering the big percentage that the posts about my children represent, I decided to create a special blog for them. For the posts, not the children. Or both, whatever.

I am quite happy with the name I found for it, One and Two Half Men. The reference should be obvious for most of you, if not, let me know. I have a doubt whether to use the plural halves, but it sounds better without.

Anyway, here is the link: http://oneandtwohalves.blogspot.fr

Of course, I will continue to post here whenever I have time (I am not missing ideas, just the real time to write about them).

Cowboys and indians

Daddy, tell me a story with cowboys and indians.
What should happen in the story?
An indian girl is being rescued by cowboys.
Ok.. Once upon a time there was a little indian girl who...
No, let's say that she is older.
An older indian girl who wanted to leave on an adventure. Her parents, however, were afraid that too many dangers were expecting her if she left the family wigwam, so she decided to sneak out one night.
No, let's say that she can do whatever she wants.
Ok. Her parents encouraged her to leave the family wigwam and go on an adventure. Is it ok like this?
Yes.
She took her father's horse and
No, she had her own horse.
She took her own horse and travelled and travelled, beyond the known pastures. One day she reached a farm, where she met some cowboys. At first, the cowboys were afraid of the indian, but when they saw she's a girl, they
No, the cowboys should enter the story later
D, do you want to tell the story?
No, you tell it!
So the indian girl travelled far until she met a tribe of bad indians, who captured her.
How did they capture her?
I don't know, she was in the forest and they ambushed her.
No, let's say they made a trap for her.
Ok, the bad indians had digged a hole in the ground and had covered it with branches and leaves, so that when the indian girl walked
No, it was a trap with a rope that lifted her up in a tree.
D, do you know the story? Have you heard it at school?
No, I dreamt about it.
And don't you want to tell it?
No, you should tell it to me
Ok, so the bad indians made a trap out of a rope attached to a branch. When the indian girl walked past it, the rope caught her leg and soon she was dangling from the tree. The bad indians got her and took her to their village.
With the tree
WITH the tree?
Yes, the bound her to the tree and carried her with the tree.
Ok... and then they laughed at her and told her she'll never be free ever again. Then the cowboys came, correct?
Yes, the cowboys came to rescue her.
The cowboys came, shot all the bad indians, dettached the indian girl and
No, they saved her with the tree
Bloody tree!

The joy of driving and exploring

When is the last time you took your car and, instead of taking the usual route, you took a much longer one just for the pleasure of driving or sightseeing?

Yesterday I had to take a day off to sit with my 4.5 years old son - schools are closed on Wednesdays and his usual babysitter was not available. Part of our schedule for the day was to go to a Zoo, somewhere half an hour driving from our home.

As soon as we left, he started talking about us going on an exploration mission, which resonated loudly with some hidden feelings I had lately. They can mostly be described as me longing for trekking in the mountains, or driving through some pitoresque landscapes, or simply holding a map in my hand and figuring out what part of a city I would like to visit first.

I should also add that we have recently bought a new car. Nothing amazing, a Ford Focus, but more powerful, very silent and all in all a lot better driving experience than my previous car. So, with all these factors combined, it's probably no wonder that at some point on the road I took a sharp turn left and entered a small road that has always been there, that I have never taken, and about which I always wondered where it leads...

It's a small road in the forest, getting to the bottom of some valleys and to the top of some hills, while always lounging a lake. Very narrow and with lots of turns. In short, a wonderful driving experience, joined by beautiful scenery and my son's clear enjoyment of it. A perfect moment. We joined the main road half an hour later and we haven't regret it for a second.

After the zoo and the mandatory McDonald's, it was time to head back. And I was facing the hard choice of taking the motorway (half an hour) or driving to the seaside and lounge it until close to home (one hour or more depending on the traffic). I guess the choice I made is obvious, and I can assure you that the trip back was beautiful! Well, my son slept through the whole of it, but I enjoyed it a lot.

As I don't have access right now to the photos I made years ago (and I didn't bothered yesterday), here is a picture I found on the web with that road.

While driving back I realized that the last time I had been on that road was... 7 years ago! Because it's close to home, and it's touristic and.... it's simply longer. But how beautiful it is! And how seldom are we taking time to just... drive and enjoy the scenery.

Yes, sometimes the exploration starts quite close to home.

Fun!

As a follow up to yesterday's post, here is our recent family tradition in the evenings. I'll try my best to describe it to you, but you'll have to use your imagination too...

Scene: our double bed
Characters:

• D., 4 years old (or, in his words, "four years old. Well, four years and something now"). Called "Dada" by his little brother.
• M., 1.5 years old. Limited vocabulary.
• and myself

All three of us in the bed... and the fun starts.


And if we were insects? What do you mean, insects? Daddy! I will be an insect that climbs here, you will be another insect. M.! We'll meet up and discuss. Daddy! M! Hello, insect, how are you? Hello! Daddy! Have you seen all the place we have here? M! I think I'll take a nap. Booo! Ah, you scared me, M! Oh, no, a bad insect is coming! Which bad insect, your brother? Booo! Aaargh! Quickly, let's hide! Dada? Dad, you take this blanket and put it over me. Daddy! M! Dad, cover me with the blanket! Yes, yes, I'll cover you. Why? Booo! Because I'm an insect and I need to hide from M. (under blanket) Shhhh! *pulls my hair* And now you hide too. *pulls my hair again* Aiie! Quickly, hide! *laughs* Now we go out. This? Eye Ah, the bad insect! This? Nose Now I'm a frog. This? AAAAAiiiiieee!  I jumped on you! Mouth! This? Ribbit! Ear Aaaaiiiieeeee!  I jumped on you again!
Why do you jump on me? Because I'm a frog!  *pinches me* I thought you were an insect.No, I'm not an insect anymore, I'm a frog and frogs jump. *rolls on the bed laughing* Ribbit!  This? M's hair
Aieee! What happened? Lamp? I hurt myself on the bed when I jumped. If you're not careful...
It's ok, the frogs don't feel pain. Don't pull the lamp! Now let's hide under the blanket again. This? Eye! Honeyyyyy! I can't do it anymore!

I think this is what it is usually called "spending quality time with your children"...

Time. And kids.

Finally, since yesterday, I can finally rest a little at the office. The past weeks have been quite consuming at the office, which generally means I don't get many personal things done, nor can I get some well deserved rest. I know some of my work colleagues are reading this, so let me assure you: yes, you have read that right, I actually come at the office to rest.

While I wouldn't go to the office if I was not paid for it, I really am happy when the weekend is over. Fridays are fine, I am not dreading the upcoming weekend too much. I am usually enthusiastic, making plans to do lots of stuff around the house. Useless plans, as my wife is saying, as by Sunday evening not only I haven't had the time to do half of what I would have liked, I also feel very tired and with my nerves stretched to the maximum.

The reason? Of course, everyone together now.... CHILDREN. Yes, yes, I love them, I'm happy to have them, and all the other crap. But couldn't they just sleep late on weekends? I'm not even asking for 9am or something like that. Anything later than 7am would be great! And couldn't they just play by themselves? Why is it that when I sit on the couch in front of the TV, in less than 2 minutes I have two kids on my head (literally), yelling and screaming, and pinching and hitting me or each other?

It's not just a question of having time to do stuff during the weekends, it's uselessness of what I do that gets to me. I swipe the floor? Then we have lunch or dinner and it's worse than before. I range their toys (or make them do it - hah, good one!)? 1 hour later the floor is a mine field again. I don't do their laundry, buy my wife is complaining she is washing 15 t-shirts of one of the children every week...

So yes, children are waking us early and keeping us busy the entire weekend. And every bit of stuff we want to do is subject to very careful planning and negotiation. "You take the kids there so that I can watch the match". "Let's hope one sleeps, you spend time with the other, so that I can take a shower". And so on. Yes, we get things done around the house. The typical chores, but also "fun" stuff like watching ASSE (football) and RC Toulon (rugby) weekend matches. But always with a feeling of defiance, of having managed to do that despite the odds. Managing to do stuff for us is the exploit, not the normality.

What make things better, however, is that when we talk to other parents, they have exactly the same problems. That feels good! And reassuring, somehow.

Anyway, the above is not only a vent, but also an explanation of why I haven't posted lately - too busy at work, too tired and busy at home. I am simply not so naive anymore to believe I can have one hour at the PC at home without them coming to ask me for a story or simply to play with them. It's also a question of priorities: I think it is less important to blog than to spend time with my kids. And, of course, a lot less important than to watch a match while drinking some beers - I need that for my sanity.

Well, I'll soon go and pick the oldest from the kindergarden (first day after the Summer holidays today) and the youngest at the nursery. And then at home we'll spend the typical evening together, playing and throwing toys everywhere (them) and food on the floor (them again) and speaking without stopping (them again, plus the wife) and hitting me (them again, sometimes the wife too) and then finally going to bed (all of us).

And you know what? I am actually looking forward to spend the evening again with my family... Silly me, I know - but love can't be helped.

1ADT vs 2ADT 1CHD 1INF

In case you don't know it, I work for a company that's behind many major actors in the travel industry, especially airlines. At my job, we usually have to test new features (e.g., what happens if you want to change your return flight when you haven't taken the first flight). One of the things we do is to test various combinations of parameters, including how many passengers are travelling. Two of the most frequent tests include one passenger travelling alone (1ADT for adult) or a family travelling together (2ADT 1CHD 1INF for adults, child, infant).

This Summer we went to Romania for the holidays. When I booked the plane tickets I laughed when seeing how I travel now: 2ADT 1CHD 1INF... We are now the typical family travelling :) Those of you who have kids and have travelled by plane with them, know what this configuration implies. The amount of stuff you need to take, the huge suitcases full of tens of sets of child clothes - they seem to go through 2-3 t-shirts every day. And don't forget the diapers, milk, baby food, lots of toys and other stuff. Be careful what you can take with you in the plane and what needs to be left in the main luggage. Keep the baby carriage with you in the airport, but leave it when entering the plane and hope you'll get it at the arrival. Take your seat and start the begging: please don't start screaming, please keep quiet, please don't try to leave your seat, please shut up, please fall asleep.

In short, flying with children is not too much fun, and I am saying this knowing perfectly well that our two boys are angels when compared to others I've seen on the planes. Anyways. I flew back from Romania earlier than the rest, wife and kids coming back after one week. As a side note, although I was going to the office during the day, I consider that my real holidays happened during that week. I love them, of course (the wife will probably read this, so just in case), but some time without them is so nice... I disgress, again. My point is that I travelled back alone (1ADT).

And how nice it is! I had forgotten the liberty you have when travelling alone! Suitcase dropped, just me, hands in my pockets. I could read in the plane. I could think in the plane. I got bored in the plane. Heck, I could even sleep in the plane. When in transit, I entered shops and just looked around. With too much time on my hands, I even sat down and had three beers! I travelled alone... 

When people are asking how much your life changes when you have children, I usually share the typical joys of parenthood. You know, sleep deprivation, impossibility to have a beer and watch the game at TV without someone yelling in your lap, back aches from picking toys from the floor every evening, all the stuff sticking to your feet after they have eaten, impossibility to have a conversation with another adult, etc. You know, parenthood. Quite well summarized here.

I have never thought to include travelling by plane in my examples of how parenthood changes your life. But I do now, as I have tasted again of that sweet sensation of travelling alone... And when my colleagues will test some features, I will make sure they know that 1ADT is not just another use case, different from 2ADT 1CHD 1INF. They are simply a world apart...

Sir Ken Robinson's at TED (original)

I am sure many of you are familiar with the now famous talk given by Sir Ken Robinson in 2006 at a TED event. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, here it is:

And there's a follow-up, from this year:

I think it is better you listen to them before continuing, it will make more sense...

Ok, so what is there to say about such brilliant talks? All I can blog about is why I consider them brilliant.

First, the style, not the content. Unbelievably funny, at least his first talk. I found him better than some stand-up comedians I've seen, maybe because the whole purpose of the talk was not to make you laugh. The funny content was there only to keep you interested and make the message pass through easily. In fact, a friend of mine told me this speech is sometimes given as an example in communication courses...

Sure, in theory it is easier to have a nice style if you have some charisma and you actually have some interesting content behind. After all, no matter how much style you'd put in a speech, if the content is null, it won't catch. But still, this guy knows how to tell a story. Add to this that the story in itself, stripped of all the jokes, is very interesting, and you can understand why I admire him that much.

I cannot pretend I agree 100% with what he wants, with what he is advocating for. Though of course, his ideas make sense, are justified and deserve a lot more attention. I think I will dedicate an entire blog post to this, to what I think about the classical education system and the need for creativity. Simply because there's a lot to say.

So, to conclude this post that, in the end, is not about much except an attempt to make these talks more well-known, what can I say. There are some people I who I admire, "I want to be like them when I grow up". Here is one of them.

Bood De Yada! (original)

The World is just awesome, isn't it?

You might be familiar with the Discovery Channel's ad, "The World is just awesome" (check these YouTube links: 

I have seen them recently and now I can't get that song out of my head. I used to watch this channel A LOT, now I don't have it on cable anymore. It was part of a huge pack of channels, quite expensive and out of which my wife and I were watching only Discovery.. no point in paying for it. So every time I'm visiting my parents, who still have Discovery on cable, I am spending a lot of time watching TV. Up until these Christmas holidays when it felt strange. There were the usual things on it, nothing has changed, so I guess I am different, not the channel. I realized I haven't become uninterested all of the sudden, but that I have gradually become less and less... curious.

When I first started to watch the Discovery Channel, I was in my teens and the shows I was watching were travel related. Then I grew up and started travelling, so my focus turned more towards "scientific" ones. I'm using the quotes intentionally. I have a scientific background and I am aware of the level of scientific knowledge you can get from such a TV show. However, we are talking here about TV shows trying to popularize science and technology, and not only one specific area, but everything you can think of. I have always liked attempts of making scientific theories easier to be understood by everyone. It takes a great mind to contribute to science, but it takes a totally different set of skills to explain the contribution. Some authors are purely geniuses when it comes to popularize science (Carl Sagan, Isaac Asimov, Stephen Hawking's "Brief History of Time", anyone?). And when I read one of their books (or watching something at TV) while also knowing the subject, I am still in awe of how easy and obvious it all seems.

I guess I'm attracted by popularization attempts partially because I like to explain things to others. Usually it's only an attempt from my part to better understand something: putting it into words, answering questions and looking for best examples usually makes it very clear in your own head. And, as many teachers could probably confirm (I am not one), seeing a face lighting up with understanding and interest it's a very rewarding experience. However, I am convinced the popularization attempts appealed to me also because they were a source of knowledge. Knowledge is so diverse nowadays that you cannot be an expert in everything - so you rely on experts in other fields (the ones with good teaching skills) to satisfy your curiosity. But then again, what happened to MY curiosity? Why, with the opportunity to watch a 4 hours show on the entire NASA space program - from the first flying attempts to landing on the Moon and ISS - I turned off the TV to sleep or read or play an online game? I don't think I would have done that a couple of years ago...

Maybe it's the age (I'm in my 30's) and the realization that I will not be a scientist "when I grow up". Maybe it's the day-to-day life that it's taking its toll (work, family). Maybe it's because I spend a vast proportion of my free time in a fantasy world (online gaming), instead of caring about how the real world works? Hard do say. I think I'll make a New Year's resolution to try to rekindle that (scientific) curiosity that once characterized me. Who knows, maybe that flame still burns?

;-)

The Flame Still Burns (original)

Where to start... I'm new to blogging, but I guess a good starting point would be to explain where this blog is coming from. Those who know me already know I'm not the extrovert type and that I generally keep my thoughts to myself. So blogging is not really part of my nature.

So then again, why this blog? I think the answer that best describes the feeling I have is in the lyrics of a song by Strange Fruit. If you've never heard of them, let me try to help: go and get your hands on a copy of a movie called "Still Crazy". Buy the dvd, rent it, download a copy, it doesn't matter what you do, but you should definitely see this movie. It's funny, it's moving, it's light and it has a great soundtrack. This is not one of those movies who will get you thinking about life, about what we are and where are going to. But it will stay in your head for years and you will still smile when thinking of it. The movie is about a rock band called Strange Fruit.. and one of their songs, the one I'm thinking of, it's called "The Flame Still Burns".

Now, if you have seen the movie, you are probably confused, since it has nothing to do with blogging. Listen again the song I mentioned - you can do it on youtube, here. Be careful to watch the version I linked - there are others with extracts from the movie and they would only ruin the movie for you. Actually, the song's version featured in the movie is... incomplete and the only lines that are missing are exactly the ones I was thinking of when I started the blog. Ironic, isn't it? Well, I can't be mad at the director, the lines are replaced with a guitar solo and the moment the guy hits the first chord of his guitar it's one of THOSE moments. You know what I'm talking about, one of those moments that deeply move you, instants of pure beauty. I'll not say more, because I don't want to ruin the film for you.

Well, to get back on the subject, these now famous lines from the song from the movie I keep telling you about go something like this:

I, I want my thoughts to be heard
The unspoken words of my wisdom
Today, as the light starts to flow
Tomorrow who knows who will listen

And there you go, this is how I feel. I don't consider myself the wisest person on Earth, but I do use my head from time to time to produce some thoughts. Thoughts and opinions that I would like to share. And it somehow feels easier to share with "strangers" than with real life friends. Moreover, I have noticed a long time ago how writing something down (or simply explaining it to someone else) helps you clarify your thoughts and ideas.

An example of what I'm talking about is that sometimes I read a book before I go to bed. And when I put the book down and turn of the light, I'm thinking about something I've just read that has marked me. So instead of just sharing those thoughts only with my wife while we are stuck in traffic the next day, I could just blog about them. Expect a lot of random subjects, there won't be a common theme on this blog. And don't expect daily updates, sometimes I'm reading something just to empty my head of any thoughts.

I don't know whether I will have the perseverance to keep this blog going for a long time, this is something that only the future will tell. I know I won't hide myself behind the "lack of time" excuse - if I really want to share something, I can find the 30 minutes needed to do so. Eh, let's not get ahead of ourselves, I'll take one step at a time and see where I end up. In the words of one of my favourite authors, "It's a dangerous business,  going out of your door. You step into the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."

Rekindle the flame

Two years have passed now, since my last blog entry here . Many things have happened during this period, and I will get to them later. First things first, however, I think I need to try to explain my absence from blogging.

Well, I can't explain it actually. I guess I was lazy / busy / couldn't be bothered / had more important things to do (multiple choices are valid). So why the sudden renewed interest? Well, it's a combination of factors. My wife restarted to blog again after a similar pause, and that made me thought. But also, I got drunk.

Well, I do that often sometimes rarely. But this time, it was around a camp fire, listening to a friend playing the guitar and thinking about all kinds of stuff. I distinctly remember how I found several subjects 'that I would like to share them with others, why not blog about them?'. So, watching the flames, I made the decision to try this stuff again. 

The next day I remembered only that there were several interesting subjects I could blog about, but not which ones. Ahem. And I had a headache. But I still remembered the resolution I had made. And now it's time to be true to my drunken resolution...

I will copy a few blogs from the previous blog location , the ones that matter (in my opinion, of course). The first one, of course, being the defining one. Which makes me think that the title of this post is somehow misleading. I do not have to rekindle a flame, as it has never been gone. In the worst moments, it might be only smouldering. But rest assured, the flame still burns.